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Vaines, Kirk - From the movie Scarlet Diva (2000).

Vallens, Dorothy - Tortured torch singer (played by Isabella Rossellini) in David Lynch's bleak, twisted take on small town America circa 1986, Blue Velvet. Our chanteuse croons the title track (a #1 hit for Bobby Vinton in 1963) in a Lumberton, NC lounge before going home to be sexually abused by Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper at his most evil), who holds her true love hostage. Jeffrey Beaumont (Kyle MacLachlan) is the stout young lad who finds a severed ear in a field and eventually comes to her rescue. Isabella Rossellini actually sang the title track and another song, "Blue Star," herself; both can be found on the soundtrack album.

Vallone, Ric - From the TV show The Dick Van Dyke Show (11/14/62).

Van Allen, Leticia - From the movie Myra Breckinridge (1970). Van Allen, Leticia and the Van Allen Dancers -- Seventy-seven-year-old former sexpot Mae West plays this "world-famous recording star" in the stunningly--STUNNINGLY--incoherent "Myra Breckinridge" (1970). She puts on a show that culminates in what has to be the world's worst and/or greatest version of an Otis Redding song. Van Allen's rendition of "Hard to Handle" (you know, "Hey little thing, let me light your candle/Cause mama I'm sure hard to handle, now, gets around") perfectly captures all the best elements of good R&B: the Shatner-esque spoken-word delivery, the early disco-y horns, the aged voice creaking its way up the register, the shrill off-tune climax. Meanwhile, Mary Ann Pringle (Farrah Fawcett), Rusty Godowski (Roger Herren), and the titular (hee hee) Myra (Raquel Welch) discuss...oh, I dunno. Homosexuality and prison. (This is one of those movies that are so bad they suppress the brain's ability to concentrate.) Oh, and before Van Allen gets poor Otis spinning in his grave, a guy in a monkey suit swings in front of the stage and there are several shots of a cigarette girl offering bananas to audience members. Really the only way to top it was to do just what director Michael Sarne did: have Rusty yell "I still think a guy should ball chicks!" and then cut away. It's worth pointing out at this point that, as incoherent as this entry is, it's still more coherent than the movie. Odd trivia note: Vidal spells this character's name "Letitia" in the book. Can't imagine why the moviemakers decided this particular joke was too corny to keep. I mean, you have Mae West (albeit an elderly Mae West) talking about sex and an anal rape scene; you might as well keep the vague boob joke.

Van Cartier, Deloris - From the movie Sister Act (1992) & Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993).

Vanderbolten, Berry - In the "Berry Butler" episode of the Cartoon Network cartoon Johnny Bravo, Johnny's mother wins a contest where her favorite singer becomes her butler for a day. Johnny makes the bum really work. (see also Johnny and the Deer Ticks, The Round Pound)

Van Cliburn Summer Orchestra - See The Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience

Vanilla, Jade and Ebony - A white, Asian, and black trio (one of each, can you guess who's who?) of high schoolers who perform the supposed-to-be-awful "Graduation Rap" at the beginning of the 2001 movie Ghost World. Vanilla (Lindsey Girardot), Jade (Joy Bisco), and Ebony's (Venus DeMilo Thomas) song is on soundtrack album. Daniel Clowes, who did the comic book the movie is based on, wrote the lyrics. Later, at the graduation party, the crappy top 40 is supplied by real band Orange Colored Sky. Thanks to Jon C. Pennington for this one. See also Alien Autopsy, Blueshammer, Fred Chatman.

Vanilla Lice - From the "Toon TV" episode (11/09/92) of cartoon Tiny Toon Adventures. Intro'ed by Buster Bunny (voiced by Charlie Adler) as the "world's hippest little louse," Vanilla Lice (voiced by Rob Paulsen) raps the song "Toon Out, Toon In," with rap cameos by characters Plucky Duck (voiced by Joe Alaskey), Elmyra Duff (voiced by Cree Summer), and Gogo Dodo (voiced by Frank Welker). This vermin with the high-top fade and goatee is, yes, every bit as talented as the artist whose namesake he parodies. The rap song sucks major rectum, a shame, since the lyrics to the show's theme are pretty good. See also Def Zepplin, Fuddonna, Skinhead O'Connell, Ruffee.

Veltri, David "Dave" - Veteran character actor Steve Buscemi shows up at the beginning of the 1998 Adam Sandler vehicle The Wedding Singer as a drunken wedding guest. He staggers between misery and violence before being talked down by Adam Sandler's good guy title character, Robbie Hart. In a nice little twist, David Veltri reappears at the end of the movie as the wedding singer for Hart's own wedding! The other members of Dave's band were played by Robert Hackl, Joshua Oppenheimer and Gabe Veltri. Waitaminute. Veltri? I'll be damned. I guess "Veltri" isn't a goofy made up name after all! (See also Robbie Hart, Jimmy Moore)

Velocettes, The - From Rock and Roll Mystery (A Choose Your Own Adventure book by Jim Wallace), 1987.

Velour, Lotta - From the animated TV show The Tick (10/01/94). Sultry accordion player who got the dodgy patrons of the Evil Eye Cafe tapping their fingers during the "The Tick vs. Mister Mental" episode. During her brief stint in the show (she was the uncredited opening act for Mr. Mental), we hear this snippet of her music: "You made my mind your playground,/My thoughts your slides and swings,/My reckless heart your seesaw,/And yet my mouth, it sings!/I've lost all my marbles!/And you hold all my jacks./My heart is skipping jump rope./I want my playground back./Get out of my mind." Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.

Velvet Vultures, The - From the TV show Family Affair (1966-71). Thanks to Nenad Matejic and John Bejko for this one.

Venus Hunters, The - From the UK TV movie Hunting Venus (1999). One-hit 80s New Wave wonders. Frontman Simon Delancey (Martin Clunes) is kidnapped by a couple of extreme fans to force him to re-form the broken-up band. Thanks to Simon X Greenwood for this one.

Venus in Furs, The - Glam band fronted by Brian Slade from 1998's Velvet Goldmine, featuring ex-Suede guitarist Bernard Butler and members of The Verve and Radiohead. (see also The Flaming Creatures, Brian Slade, and Curt Wild)

VersIs - From the TV show Platinum (2003).

Vibrating Pyramids, The - From Sonic Disruptors #6 (DC comic book mini-series written by Mike Baron, drawn by Barry Crain & John Nyberg), Jun. 1988.

Vicksburgs, The - From the movie That Thing You Do (1996).

Victor, Laura - Demi Moore plays another (see Cassandra Eldrich) singer in 1984's No Small Affair. Cheers' George Wendt is Jake, the owner of the club where she sings. Jon Cryer plays Charles Cummings, the Matthew Broderick stand-in who falls for her. Chrissy Faith was the singing voice of Laura.

Video Rodney - From the movie Heaven Tonight (1990).

Videoheads, The - From the movie Passport to Paris (1999). Thanks to Andrew T. Phipps (Fish) for this one.

Village Persons, The - From the TV show Saturday Night Live (04/14/79). Village People Parody.

Vincent, Boone - From the TV series Malcolm in the Middle (11/02/03). David Cassidy puts in a stunningly good performance as this aging, Wayne Newton-inspired Vegas lounge singer in the "Vegas" episode. Vincent, who sports very David Lynch-like hair, performs lounged-up versions of Pink's "I'm Coming Up," Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach" - featuring backup singer/dancers in Vegas headdresses and prosthetic pregnancy bellies- and Bad Company's "Feel Like Making Love." He also apparently sings Whitney Houston's "The Greatest Love of All" in an astronaut suit. But don't be too quick to dismiss Vincent as a mere cover act. When Lois Wilkerson (Jane Kaczmarek), a rabid "Boonatic," gets invited back to the "Booney Bin" for a one-on-one with Vincent, she mentions that her favorite song of his is "Cinnamon Rainbow." The really sad thing? This was Malcolm's (Frankie Muniz) first concert. Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.

Vinnie and the Dreamers - From the movie Looking for an Echo (2000). Thanks to Galen Black for this one.

Violet Moon - From the TV series Love Monkey (2006). Or maybe Violent Moon. Band that major label A&R man Tom Farrell (Tom Cavanagh) signed.

Virgin Howitzer - From Wrack & Roll (novel by Bradley Denton), 1986.

Visiting Day - From the TV show The Sopranos (03/14/99). Thanks to Rob Terrell and Cynthia for this one.

Vitaly Chernobyl and the Meltdowns - From Snow Crash (novel by Neal Stephenson), 1992. Thanks to Dave Hayes for this one.

Viv - From the animated TV show The Littlest Pet Shop (1995). Cartoon rabbit singer with a band inside her top hat: Satch (a rat), bongo player Red (a squirrel) and drummer Buddy Butler (a mouse). Thanks to Mark Lungo for this one.

Vivian, "Long John" - From the TV show Tour of Duty (01/21/88). Purple nehru-jacketed rocker who sings "Wooly Bully" and "the national anthem of Vietnam," Eric Burdon's "We Gotta Get Out of This Place" at a Vietnam War USO show in the "USO Down" episode (01/21/88) of Vietnam war drama Tour of Duty. Their chopper crashes on the way to the next gig. After the crash, Long John (Patrick O'Bryan) nobly sacrifices himself like a guest star should, by throwing himself on a grenade meant for a major character. In this case, Sgt. Zeke Anderson (Terence Knox).

Void, The - From Maniac Mansion (PC computer game) from LucasFilm, 1988.

Von Ghouls, The - From Series of Internet Flash cartoons. (by Jake Jacobs), 2002. Thanks to Jake Jacobs

von Kempen, Johannes - From The Soloist (novel by Mark Salzman), 1994.

Von Koopa, Ludvig - From the video game Super MarioWorld (1990). He is a large orange turtle-like creature, named after Ludvig Von Beethoven. This white-haired, composer is one of the bosses you must defeat in this SuperNintendo game. His castle is atop Cookie Mountain. See also Wendy O. Koopa.

Von Shtupp, Lili - Oversexed German cabaret-type singer played by Madeline Kahn in Mel Brooks' classic Western parody Blazing Saddles (1974). She vamps her way through "I'm Tired" (lyrics). Thanks to Chris Gruin for this one.

just a line

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