Twit Conway

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Potential English rock and roll singer being groomed by manipulative, overbearing rock manager Major Rafe Ralph in the "So Little Time" skit from Peter Sellers' 1959 comedy album Songs for Swinging Sellers.

The skit is an interview with Twit and the Major, a parody of real English rock manager Larry Parnes with a military rank like Elvis' manager Colonel Parker. Parnes groomed, controlled, and gave his acts stage names, like Billy Fury and Lance Fortune.

Conway's real name is Cyril Rumble, and his stage name is an obvious take on real singer Conway Twitty, who was a rock and roller before he turned to country in 1965. ("Conway Twitty" is also a stage name; he was born Harold Lloyd Jenkins).

In the interview, Twit lives down to his name, proving to be a complete idiot who can't remember the canned responses he's supposed to give to interviewers, or which way 'round the guitar goes. Amazingly, Sellers did all the voices for the skit, written by Frank Muir and Denis Norden.

Also mentioned in the intro are several of Ralph's other successful acts: Lenny Bronze, Clint Thigh, Matt Lust, The Fleshpots, The Muckrakers.

The skit contains possibly the best summation of the life of a young rock star:

Major: I trust, Miss Lisbon, you won't go writing any of those nasty, lurid stories about my kids, I mean, you saw Conway for yourself. He's just as normal and well-balanced as any other seventeen-year-old ex-plasterer's-mate suddenly earning a thousand quid a week. (Laughs)

Nancy: Yes, it has made me think.

Major: And don't you go making me out to be a sort of profiteering Svengali, will you? I mean, these boys stay here willingly, because to them I'm a - well I'm almost a second father. We enjoy a very beautiful relationship. Beautiful, Miss Lisbon, because it is - it is based on trust, mutual trust.

Nancy: It's a very rare quality in this modern world, Major.

Major: It is indeed, yes. Er - don't touch the doorknob - it's got two thousand volts running through it.

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