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Noah Thompson
From Rocklopedia Fakebandica
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Sixth-grade woodwind player who is the focus of "Disloyal Piece Of Shit: This Middle Schooler Casually Switched From Playing The Clarinet To The Alto Saxophone, So He’ll Almost Certainly Cheat On His Wife Someday", a story from clickbait parody site ClickHole (30 Aug. 2018).