T h e U l t i m a t e F a k e B a n d L i s t
by T. Mike
updated: Updating now!
The Rocklopedia Fakebandica,
Watch this space!
| ||HEY. This website is also book!!! At bookstores and Amazon.com now! Just click the link to the left there! The book I should stress, is way, WAY better than the site, with much elaborated upon entries. Plus it has tons of pictures, reviews, and sidebars essays none of which can be found here on the site, plus amusing drawings by our own Jason Torchinsky! Buy it and make me a freaking zillionaire so I can quit my boring job already! Don't make me do my hungry puppy dog look! You don't want that!|
"...one of the most refreshing online wastes of time since the birth of the Web..." - Information Week
"...frighteningly meticulous..." - The Melbourne Sunday Herald Sun
"...more than trivial..." - Entertainment Weekly
"...comprehensive..." - The Chicago Tribune
Behold the glory that is the ROCKLOPEDIA FAKEBANDICA, umpteenth (I got sick of counting) revised, unabridged edition! Finally, all the fictional bands and singers from TV and movies listed in one convenient, scarily obsessive place. Why? It's the Internet, stupid! The Internet was created for such things as this!
Thanks to everyone who has contributed! Unless you lied to me, in which case get bent. If you sent one in and it's still not up, forgive me, I'm working on it, honest! Please
if you want suggest one I missed, have a correction to make, or know a good site to link to.
Here's the latest additions:
White Strokes, The - Fake band from... a t-shirt! The Y-Que Trading Post in Los Angeles has had these for several years. Now c'mon, admit it- wasn't it all too easy to get those two garage rock bands mixed up? This is also not the only fake band from a t-shirt; see Poor Richard
Baltimore, Billy - From the TV show The Hitchhiker (03/31/87). Mysteriously reclusive (or maybe just dead) former legend of the electric guitar in the "The Legendary Billy B." episode (03/31/87) of HBO's R-rated Twilight Zone ripoff, The Hitchhiker. Nosy journalist Jane (Kirstie Alley) breaks into Billy's estate to find out the truth- which is that Billy is a brain dead freakshow exhibit, and that his handlers REALLY don't like nosy journalists. Trivia Time! Andy Summers of real band The Police composed the music, and also had a role as Hodie the photographer. Thanks to Dan at NonsuchWorks for this one.
Barbarian Brothers, The - From the TV series Love Monkey (2006).
Barrett Rude Jr. and the Subtle Distinctions - From the book The Fortress of Solitude (2003). Seventies soul singer fallen on bad times in this novel by Jonathan Lethem. Thanks to delio for this one.
Rude Jr., Barrett - See Barrett Rude Jr. and the Subtle Distinctions.
Subtle Distinctions, The - See Barrett Rude Jr. and the Subtle Distinctions.
Bingoes, The - From the comic book That Wilkin Boy (1969-1982). An Archie rip-off... from Archie comics! Teenager Bingo Wilkin had his own band. Some scans here. Lineup: Bingo, fashion victim Tough Teddy, Samantha, and hippy Buddy.
Blue, Apollo - From the animated film Jetsons: The Movie (1990). Judy Jetson's new musician boyfriend (voiced by Paul Kreppel). See also Sky Rocker, Jet Screamer.
Boyzvoice - From the film Get Ready to Be Boyzvoiced (2000). Fake boy band from this Norwegian mockumentary. Wow. Even the Norwegians are making fun of boy bands. Thanks to Pete Lennox for this one.
Brainkrieg - From the web site Homestar Runner (01/16/2006). In Strongbad's email "death metal," Strongbad gives out some death metal pointers illustrating his point with this cartoon-within-a-cartoon band (Teen Girl Squad). This death metal trio got last place in the Battle of the Crappy High School Bands.
Brick Springhorn and the Tenth Avenue Band - From the comic book Transformers #14 (1984). This obvious reference to Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band is even right on the cover. They meet giant robots that turn into cars. Is it even possible to get more 1980s? Check out the most excellent scans here (scroll down).
Britney, Britney - From the animated TV show The Fairly OddParents (). A Britney Spears parody that appears in at least two episodes: "Cosmo Con" (01/10/03) and "Truth or Cosmoquences" (02/15/05). See also Chip Skylark. Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.
C-Roc - From the TV show Early Edition (02/20/99). Rap star visiting in town who's an old friend of Marissa (Shanesia Davis-Williams) in the "Number One with a Bullet " episode. His real name is Julius Ruby; played by real rap star Coolio. Thanks to for this one.
Cahill, Jordan - From the TV movie Stuck in the Suburbs (2004). Hot young pop idol all the girlies love, played by Taran Killam in this Disney channel movie. A couple of teens accidentally get hold of his cell phone/PDA. Taran (WTF kinda name is that?) does his own singing, credited as "Jordan Cahill."
Cheetah Girls, The - From the TV movie The Cheetah Girls (2003). New York teen girl quartet trying for a record deal in this Disney Channel movie. Lineup: Galleria (Raven, the littlest Cosby Show kid), Chanel (Adrienne Bailon), Aquanette (Kiely Williams), and Dorinda (Sabrina Bryan). Why do all their names sound like products?
Chippington Skylark and His Noah's Arkestra - From the animated TV show The Fairly OddParents (10/07/05). In "The Good Ol' Days" episode, cranky Grandpa Pappy babysits Timmy. We learn that current teen pop idol Chip Skylark is actually Chip Skylark III, and Grandpa used to enjoy listening to Chip's grandfather, who was also a singing star, back in the day. Then Timmy uses a magic wish to make the world like a 1930s black and white cartoon, and he and Grandpa have 30s stype black and white cartoon adventures, including dancing to this band of animals, fronted by Skylark. See also Chip Skylark.
Skylark, Chippington - See Chippington Skylark and His Noah's Arkestra.
Cool Tapes - From the web site Homestar Runner (08/15/05). From the "Cool Tapes" Flash cartoon. Marzipan on guitar, Stong Mad on bass, The Cheat on drums. Thanks to Sophia and KateLynn from Belmont, MA for this one.
Cosmo, Cosmic - From the TV movie Rockin with Judy Jetson (1988). Thanks to for this one.
Coy, Calvin - From the poem "The Moping Minstrel" (1971-72). This is a first! The first fake musical artist I've found from a poem! And a poem by a well known and respected poet, even: Ogden Nash! From the book The Old Dog Barks Backwards (1972), although it may have appeared in print in a magazine somewhere first.
Crucifolks, The - From the animated TV series Moral Orel (01/23/06). In the zombie-themed "The Lord's Greatest Gift" episode of this Cartoon Network/Adult Swim animated series, Orel's happy, happy, happy, dysfunctional, happy family listens to this Christian folk band's song "Think With Your Heart" on their way to church. Sample lyrics: "Reason is the enemy of faith my friends./A head that's filled with knowledge soon is too bloated with its own weight" and "Think with your heart/'cause you know that the Almighty sees us./ Think only with your heart./Whoever heard of the bleeding brain of Jesus?" Apparently, "Think With Your Heart" is number two behind the latest Multiple Godgasm single. See also Multiple Godgasm. Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.
Cupcakes, The - From the comic book Wowie Zowie! (2003). Gay indie rock band? By Tim Fish. Review here.
Dangles, The - From the animated TV series Rocko's Modern Life (09/19/93). In the "Bedfellows" episode, this fake band is playing a nudist party.
Dann, Maury - From the film Payday (1972). Country-western singer played by Rip Torn, who does his own singing. Thanks to David Cornell Hurd for this one.
F.F. and Captain John - From the movie The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990). Thanks to Charles for this one.
Faith, Stevie - From the TV show The A-Team (12/03/85). This rock star (Valerie Stevenson) is threatened by apparent Latin American terrorists?! So she does what anyone would do- call in The A Team! They hide her in a suburban neighborhood. Thanks to for this one.
Flips, The - From the comic book DC Showcase #59 (1965). Rock 'n' roll trio framed for crimes actually done by real criminals disguised as the band. The case is solved by the brand new Teen Titans.
Four Peters, The - From the animated TV series Family Guy (07/24/05). In one of the show's trademark nonsensical flashbacks, Peter briefly recalls singing with this a capella classical music quartet with three other guys who look and sound exactly like him. From the "Model Misbehavior" episode. Thanks to Mark Miller for this one.
Gladwell - From the TV series Love Monkey (2006).
Glickstein, Sholem - From the film American Dreamz (2006). An Jewish rapper contestant on the fictional TV show American Dreamz, an American Idol parody. Played by Adam Busch. See also Sally Kendoo, Omer.
Go-Go - From the comic book Tippy's Friends Go Go and Animal (1966-1969). This Archie rip-off comic featured Go-Go, a folksinger, with a Moose-like boyfriend named Animal. In 1969 the comic title changed to Tippy's Friend Go-Go and ran for that year. Scans here.
Griffin, Brian - From the animated TV series Family Guy (01/08/06). In the "Brian Sings and Swings" episode, Brian, the family dog, hooks up with real life singer Frank Sinatra, Jr. and he and Stewie start hanging around with him, forming a "New Rat Pack" and singing with him and his orchestra. Unfortuanately, this leads to Brian drinking even more heavily than usual.
Handful of Peter - From the animated TV series Family Guy (04/09/06). In the "Deep Throats" episode, a local talent show inspires Peter and Lois to revive this duo, their old hippie folksinging act. They also revive their old habit of getting massively stoned. When they perform, they're so stoned they think they are performing flawlessly, but it's revealed they are just braying off-key and rolling around on the stage, and they lose.
Hot Rollers, The - From the film Nice Dreams (1981). All girl band with hair color names: Brunetta, Auburnetta, Platinum, Ash, and Dishwater. An agent tries to get Tommy Chong interested in them because she thinks he's Jerry Garcia of The Greatful Dead. Played by Cheryl Smith, Linnea Quigley, Debbie Tressler, Haydee Pomar, and Jennifer Child. Thanks to Bubblegum Fink for this one.
Jizm - From the comic book Richie Rich (19??). Wow. Priceless.
Jones, Ralph - From the movie King Ralph (1991). John Goodman plays this Las Vegas lounge singer who unexpectedly becomes the King of England. Thanks to for this one.
Joyce, Tommy - From the film The Big Bus (1976). Cheesy lounge singer (is there any other kind?) playing on the maiden voyage of Cyclops, the world's first luxury nuclear-powered bus, in this disaster movie parody. Thanks to Brad Hansen for this one.
Kandy Floss - From the TV series Celebrity Big Brother (2006). In the 2006 season of this reality show where celebrities have to share a house, the producers tried to spice things up. They put a fake celebrity in the mix, model Chantelle Houghton. She has to convince the other celebs she's a real celebrity; the singer of this girl group with the hit song "I Want It Right Now." They actually came up with a version of the song to play on the show.
Keane, Katie - From the film When Love Comes (1998). Has-been minor star (Rena Owen) in this New Zealand relationship drama. Thanks to Charles Rempel for this one.
Kendoo, Sally - From the film American Dreamz (2006). A contestant on the fictional TV show American Dreamz, an American Idol parody. Played by Mandy Moore. See also Omer, Sholem Glickstein.
Kohler, Charlie - From the movie Tirez sur le pianiste (1960). Bar room piano player and protagonist in this French crime movie (Shoot the Piano Player, in English) directed by Truffaut. Thanks to for this one.
Landmines, The - From the film Up the Academy (1980). A cappella group played by: John R. Gallagher, Jack N. Stewart, John C. Ryberg, Charles Lloyd Kephart, and James D. Coddington. Thanks to Christopher Cordani for this one.
Mad House Glads, The - From the comic book The Mad House Glads (1970). A minor Archie comics spinoff. Some scans are here (scroll down).
Manning, Dave - From the animated TV series Sabrina the Animated Series ( 02/20/00). Classical concert pianist that Sabrina develops a big crush on in the "Key To My Heart" episode. She has it in for his cellist/girlfriend Melinda, and uses her magic to take away Melinda's talent. However, this also damages Dave's chance for a European tour, so Sabrina has to get over her crush and do the right thing. Thanks to Jeffrey Morris for this one.
McLain, Ember - From the animated TV series Danny Phantom (2004).
Moon, Linda - From the film Be Cool (2005). Mobster Chili Palmer (John Travolta) ditches the movie industry, and goes into the music industry in this sequel to both the book and film Get Shorty (1995). He gets involved with the career of this singer (Christina Milian).
Mozart's Ghost - From the film The Net (1995). Thanks to Mark Miller for this one.
Mulligan Stew - From the TV series Mulligan Stew (1972). An educational/nutritional show produced by the 4-H club. There was also a 197? comic book tie-in. See here for scans.
Multiple Godgasm - From the animated TV series Moral Orel (01/23/06). We hear (but sadly never see) this Christian thrash metal band during the "The Lord's Greatest Gift" episode of this animated Cartoon Network/Adult Swim series. Sample lyrics: "Bow down, bow down, do Jesus's bidding" and "burn...in heaven" (repeated several times). See also The Crucifolks. Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.
Mystic Horn Society, The - From the book trilogy (1987-2001). Jazz band from a trilogy of epistolary novels by UC Santa Cruz professor of literature Nathaniel Mackey: Bedouin Hornbook (1987), Djbot Baghostus's Run (1993), and Atet A.D. (2001).
Norton, Ozzie - From the film Sweetheart of the Campus (1941). Band leader played by Ozzie Nelson. The band tries to help save bankrupt Lambert Tech College.
Omer - From the film American Dreamz (2006). An Arabic contestant on the fictional TV show American Dreamz, an American Idol parody. Played by Sam Golzari. See also Sally Kendoo, Sholem Glickstein.
Palmer, Dylan - From the book Girl Talk #20 'Rockin' Class Trip (1992). Thanks to Cynara G. for this one.
Pipes, The - From the TV series Love Monkey (2006). Band that major label A&R man Tom Farrell (Tom Cavanagh) signed.
Pittman, Penny - From the film Chatterbox (1977). Penny Pittman (Candice Rialson) one day discovers her vagina can talk and has a mind of it's own. Worse, she then discovers it can sing. When she shows her doctor, he puts them both on tour. Thanks to for this one.
Poor Richard - From the clothing company Edoc Laundry (2006).
Poppy Fields, The - From the other source The Alarm (2004). Mike Peters of The Alarm played a great prank on the ageist music industry. He secretly put out his band's new single, "45 RPM" under this name. Then when it hit big, he revealed the shocking truth: he's old!
Preston, Mike - From the film Made (1972). Played by Roy Harper.
Pussycats - From the movie The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990). Thanks to Kjell Ringstrand for this one.
Raymond, Russ - From the movie In The Navy (1941). This popular singer (Dick Powell) disappears to patriotically join the Navy under an assumed name. A reporter is on his tail in this Abbott and Costello movie. This movie has one of my favorite Abbott and Costello bits, where Costello proves three different ways that 28 divided by 7 is 13. Thanks to Charles Rempel for this one.
Rocker, Sky - From the TV movie Rockin with Judy Jetson (1988). Hot, hip rock star beloved by Judy Jetson. Voiced by Rob Paulsen. See also Jet Screamer.
Roofi - From the animated TV series The Simpsons (01/04/04). Blatant parody of children's music artist Raffi. Marge takes Maggie to his outdoor concert. However, sudden rain and a baby bottle to the face have Roofi cancel, and the concert turns into a riot. The Teletubbies open for him. From the "Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays" episode
Scab Inferno - From the TV series Love Monkey (2006). Band that major label A&R man Tom Farrell (Tom Cavanagh) signed.
Sex As A Weapon - From the film House Party 3 (1994). Real rap group TLC plays this fake trio. Prepubescent real rap trio Immature shows up as Kid's cousins. Thanks to Charles Rempel for this one.
6X - From the book 6X: The Uncensored Confessions (2005-2006). Hot teen quartet full of drama in this book and also a 2006 sequel (and probably more to come): Loud, Fast, & Out Of Control. Lineup: Stella Saunders ("The Bitch") on bass, A/B Farrelberg ("The Boy") on guitar, Kendall Taylor ("The Voice") on vocals, and Wynn Morgan ("The Body") on drums. Official/author site here.
Slag Bag - From the TV series Play for Today (02/17/76). The "Jumping Bean Bag" episode of this BBC anthology series is a mock rock doc about this glam rock high school band who get expelled for performing in dresses. David Dixon (Ford Prefect in the BBC Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series) played singer Ozzie Freemantle. The band's songs were written by Stephen Deutsch.
Sleaze Sisters, The - From the film Times Square (1980). Or maybe The Sleaze Girls. Or the Sleez Sisters. I dunno. New wave duo. Thanks to Marty Hale-Evans, Blossom, Matty Karas, E A Scott, Jim & Gina Kallinen, chelsea the mod pixie, and missmez for this one.
Snotra, Frank - From the TV show The Ren & Stimpy Show ( 09/05/1996). Cartoon cat Stimpy's "nose goblin" (i.e., anthropomorphized booger) becomes a singer in the "Ol' Blue Nose" episode.
Suburban Funk - From the film The New Guy (2002). High school garage band of teens. They cover Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music" at the prom. Lineup: Gil (DJ Qualls) on vocals and guitar, Nora (Zooey Deschanel) on guitar, Kirk (Jerod Mixon) on drums, and Glen (Parry Shen) on keyboards. The movie also has cameos by real musicians Tommy Lee, Henry Rollins, Vanilla Ice, Lyle Lovett, Gene Simmons, and Kool Mo Dee.
Sweet, Toots - From the movie Angel Heart (1987). Played by Brownie McGhee. Rest of his band played by: Sugar Blue, Pinetop Perkins, Deacon John Moore, Richard Payne, W. Alonzo Stewart, Lillian Boutte. Thanks to Rob Terrell for this one.
Taranchula - From the other source Homestar Runner (03/04/02). Dark metal band in a Danzig vein. Their name was first mentioned in the "band names" email (03/04/02) when Strong Bad was answering an email on what to name your band. He suggested taking a word and spelling it differently. On the site's 2003 CD Strong Bad Sings and other type hits, they sing "Moving Very Slowly." In the Strong Bad email "death metal" (01/16/06) we get to actually see the whole band hosting an MTV Headbanger's Ball parody, the Half Hour Death Metal Dungeon Hour. Lineup: Dave Bjornborg, Dave Olafstenston, and Schenkel McDoo. Their new music video is "The Decoupage," a parody of heavy metal music videos that rip off the Brothers Quay, where creepy depressing inanimate objects are stop-motion animated in as creepily depressing a manner as possible. Taranchula's no Limozeen, though.
Teenage Wolves, The - From the animated TV series Digimon: Digital Monsters (200?). In the second season of Digimon, the original characters were aged up from kids to high school.
Thomas, Henry - From the film Baby the Rain Must Fall (1965). Steve McQueen plays this recently paroled rockabilly singer who's never even seen his baby daughter. He sings at the local juke joint, hoping to hit the big time. Glen Campbell plays one of the band members!Thanks to Charles Rempel for this one.
Tijuana Tokyo - From the TV series Eight is Enough (03/07/79). From "The Final Days" episode. After hearing the prom committee will pay the prom band big bucks, teen Tommy Bradford (Willie Aames) assembles this band. Apparently the band was played by Aames' real life band.
Troy, Kyle - From the movie The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990). Thanks to Kjell Ringstrand for this one.
Tubby the Tuba - From the animated film Tubby the Tuba (1976). You would think in this music-centric cartoon, it would be vital to have catchy melodies and good songs. Well, think again, chump. This cheap cartoon has neither. I only hope the 1947 original George Pal Puppetoon version was better- it should be, it was nominated for Best Short Subject Oscar! In this sucky remake, Dick Van Dyke voices the hapless anthropomorphized title character. Tubby is a tuba in a nameless symphony orchestra, fed up with always playing oompah-oompah, and never getting to play a melody. All the other instruments treat him like crap, so he joins the circus, where his droning oompahs just so happen to be the precise tune that makes elephants get some funk in they trunk and up and dance, shakin' their multiple ton boo-tays. Soon Tubby's dancing elephants act is a big hit, and he goes on a successful worldwide tour. On his triumphant return, he's suffering from that sitcom disease BHS (Big Head Syndrome), and plows forward with his dangerous new act, against the wishes of the ringmaster and even the elephants. There's a near disaster when the act ends up with Tubby in the lion cage, and he quits the circus and gives up on fame and fortune. Quitter! He slouches back to the orchestra where his one pal invites him along on the orchestra's trip to Singing City, where the anthropomorphic instruments will all hook up with new anthropomorphic melodies. It's a sort of orchestral spring break, with the instruments as frat boys, and the melodies as Mexican hookers. Tubby gets the hots for beautiful orphan melody Celeste, but he can't play her melody, and she hooks up with hunky aristocrat Prince Cello instead. Tubby slinks off into the swamp, once again kicked in the 'nads by life. There he chances to meet a frog, from whom he acquires a tuba-friendly melody. But since the frog is a guy... does that make Tubby gay? Cause that would explain a lot. Back home, he plays the new melody for the orchestra, and finally gets some respect from them, as they ooh and aah over this new melody.
Ultimate Losers, The - From the movie Slacker (1991). Thanks to Mark Fisher for this one.
Vincent, Boone - From the TV series Malcolm in the Middle (11/02/03). David Cassidy puts in a stunningly good performance as this aging, Wayne Newton-inspired Vegas lounge singer in the "Vegas" episode. Vincent, who sports very David Lynch-like hair, performs lounged-up versions of Pink's "I'm Coming Up," Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach" - featuring backup singer/dancers in Vegas headdresses and prosthetic pregnancy bellies- and Bad Company's "Feel Like Making Love." He also apparently sings Whitney Houston's "The Greatest Love of All" in an astronaut suit. But don't be too quick to dismiss Vincent as a mere cover act. When Lois Wilkerson (Jane Kaczmarek), a rabid "Boonatic," gets invited back to the "Booney Bin" for a one-on-one with Vincent, she mentions that her favorite song of his is "Cinnamon Rainbow." The really sad thing? This was Malcolm's (Frankie Muniz) first concert. Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.
Violet Moon - From the TV series Love Monkey (2006). Or maybe Violent Moon. Band that major label A&R man Tom Farrell (Tom Cavanagh) signed.
Wayne - From the TV series Love Monkey (2006).
Wayne, Billy - From the film Oh God, You Devil! (1984). Bobby Shelton (Ted Wass) is a struggling songwriter with a loving wife and a crappy agent. When reduced to singing at a wedding, he's approached by superagent "Harry Tophet," really Satan (George Burns), who tools around in the most evil car available at the time: the Dodge Durango! Satan gets him to sign a contract for rock superstardom. However, Satan's rock star gig is a little weird. He doesn't just magically make Shelton rich and famous. Shelton becomes rock star Billy Wayne (Robert Desiderio), even though Wayne has around already. And there was another guy who signed with Satan and became Wayne before Shelton, only his contract with Satan ran out. And when Shelton becomes Wayne, the other guy becomes Shelton! And the whole world thinks the other guy is Shelton, including the other guy himself (?!). Soon, Shelton becomes disenchanted being Wayne, especially when the other guy Shelton knocks up his real wife, who also thinks other guy Shelton is the real Shelton. Shelton gets unconvincingly worked up enough to suicide for no real apparent reason, but then God (George Burns again) and Satan play poker for his life/soul. And then there's the happy ending, and Shelton gets his life back, "Billy Wayne" is dead, and only God (and Satan) knows what happed to that other guy. Billy's band was played by: Kent DeMarche,Trey Thompson, Charles Button, Dave Morgan, John Wolff, and Jack Kelly. One of these guys is a dead ringer for Spinal Tap's Nigel Tufnel.
Shelton, Bobby - See Billy Wayne.
Wheeler, Tim - From the other source Gillette magazine ad (1973). This is weird. A fake folk singer from old Gillette advertisement I found in a 1973 issue of Esquire. Gillette saved his career!
Wildebeest, Theophilus P. - From the film Lenny Live and Unleashed (1989). African-American lounge/soul singer parody played by Brit comedian Lenny Henry on various shows 'n' stuff, including this concert movie of his stand-up. Thanks to Richard Bensam for this one.